November 10th, 2025
by Darrell Kornegay
by Darrell Kornegay
From Selfish to Surrendered to Transformed—
A journey of the heart every believer must take
There’s a quiet battle happening inside every believer — a battle between selfishness and surrender. It’s the tension between wanting God’s will and wanting our way. It’s the journey from living for God on our own terms… to letting God live through us on His.
Most of us don’t realize how much self still sits on the throne of our hearts until the Spirit begins to confront it. Salvation rescues us, but surrender refines us — and it’s only through surrender that transformation begins.
This is the path every disciple must walk: from selfish to surrendered to transformed.
The Selfish Christian
Selfishness doesn’t always look rebellious. Sometimes it looks responsible. It can look like serving, but wanting to be seen. Giving, but expecting something in return. Loving others, but only when it’s convenient.
The truth is, selfishness doesn’t disappear at salvation — it’s confronted. The Spirit begins a lifelong process of emptying us of ourselves so He can fill us with Christ. Yet many stop at forgiveness without yielding control.
That’s the posture of a selfish Christian — one who loves the blessings of Christ but resists the breaking of Christ. One who sings “I surrender all,” but quietly holds back the parts that feel too costly.
Paul wrote in Philippians 2:3–5 (KJV):
“Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus.”
The cure for selfishness isn’t more effort — it’s more of Christ.
You can’t look long at Calvary and still live for self. The cross doesn’t just forgive us — it forms us. It breaks the pride that says, “My way,” and births the humility that says, “Thy will.”
⸻
The Surrendered Christian
Surrender isn’t weakness — it’s worship.
It doesn’t begin with strength; it begins with yielding.
Jesus said,
“If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.”
— Luke 9:23
Those aren’t poetic words — they’re practical ones. The surrendered life isn’t about perfection; it’s about permission. It’s saying, “Lord, You have permission to interrupt me, redirect me, and refine me.”
When life doesn’t go as planned, the selfish heart questions God; the surrendered heart seeks Him.
When doors close, the selfish heart grows bitter; the surrendered heart grows still and listens.
When waiting feels unbearable, the selfish heart rushes ahead; the surrendered heart remembers that delay isn’t denial.
The surrendered Christian doesn’t measure success by outcomes but by obedience. They may not always understand the why, but they trust the Who.
Paul captured this beautifully in Galatians 2:20 (KJV):
“I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.”
Surrender isn’t about losing control — it’s about handing it back to the One who always had it.
⸻
The Transformed Christian
Transformation is what happens when surrender takes root.
It’s the evidence that the Spirit has been given full access to the heart.
Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 3:18 (KJV):
“But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord.”
Transformation isn’t behavior modification — it’s heart renovation. It’s the slow, sacred work of the Spirit, replacing what was broken with what is holy.
When God transforms a person, He doesn’t just clean up their life — He changes their nature. The old desires to prove, control, or perform begin to die, and a new desire to please Him begins to live. Love replaces anger. Peace steadies what fear once ruled. Gentleness softens what pride once resisted.
The transformed believer doesn’t boast in how far they’ve come — they marvel that God never gave up on them. Every change in them is the result of grace, not goodness.
Romans 12:2 reminds us:
“And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”
The world tries to shape us from the outside in. God transforms us from the inside out.
When the transformed believer walks into a room, peace follows.
When they speak, grace builds.
When they suffer, faith remains.
Because transformation makes us mirrors of His mercy.
⸻
A Final Thought
If selfishness is where your journey begins, and surrender is where your will bows, then transformation is where His glory shines.
Every one of us is somewhere in that process — and God is patient in the shaping.
He’s not looking for perfection; He’s looking for permission.
When you say “yes” to His shaping, He will do the work.
⸻
Prayer
Father,
Empty me of me. Teach me what it means to live surrendered, not selfish.
Renew my mind, reshape my heart, and let Christ be seen in me.
May my life reflect Your love, my words reveal Your truth, and my walk bring You glory.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Written by Pastor Darrell “DK” Kornegay of TrueLife Church in Beulaville, NC.
At TrueLife, we believe faith is a journey — one that takes us from self to surrender, and from surrender to transformation. Join us each week as we discover more of what it means to walk in the life that Christ freely gives.
A journey of the heart every believer must take
There’s a quiet battle happening inside every believer — a battle between selfishness and surrender. It’s the tension between wanting God’s will and wanting our way. It’s the journey from living for God on our own terms… to letting God live through us on His.
Most of us don’t realize how much self still sits on the throne of our hearts until the Spirit begins to confront it. Salvation rescues us, but surrender refines us — and it’s only through surrender that transformation begins.
This is the path every disciple must walk: from selfish to surrendered to transformed.
The Selfish Christian
Selfishness doesn’t always look rebellious. Sometimes it looks responsible. It can look like serving, but wanting to be seen. Giving, but expecting something in return. Loving others, but only when it’s convenient.
The truth is, selfishness doesn’t disappear at salvation — it’s confronted. The Spirit begins a lifelong process of emptying us of ourselves so He can fill us with Christ. Yet many stop at forgiveness without yielding control.
That’s the posture of a selfish Christian — one who loves the blessings of Christ but resists the breaking of Christ. One who sings “I surrender all,” but quietly holds back the parts that feel too costly.
Paul wrote in Philippians 2:3–5 (KJV):
“Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus.”
The cure for selfishness isn’t more effort — it’s more of Christ.
You can’t look long at Calvary and still live for self. The cross doesn’t just forgive us — it forms us. It breaks the pride that says, “My way,” and births the humility that says, “Thy will.”
⸻
The Surrendered Christian
Surrender isn’t weakness — it’s worship.
It doesn’t begin with strength; it begins with yielding.
Jesus said,
“If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.”
— Luke 9:23
Those aren’t poetic words — they’re practical ones. The surrendered life isn’t about perfection; it’s about permission. It’s saying, “Lord, You have permission to interrupt me, redirect me, and refine me.”
When life doesn’t go as planned, the selfish heart questions God; the surrendered heart seeks Him.
When doors close, the selfish heart grows bitter; the surrendered heart grows still and listens.
When waiting feels unbearable, the selfish heart rushes ahead; the surrendered heart remembers that delay isn’t denial.
The surrendered Christian doesn’t measure success by outcomes but by obedience. They may not always understand the why, but they trust the Who.
Paul captured this beautifully in Galatians 2:20 (KJV):
“I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.”
Surrender isn’t about losing control — it’s about handing it back to the One who always had it.
⸻
The Transformed Christian
Transformation is what happens when surrender takes root.
It’s the evidence that the Spirit has been given full access to the heart.
Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 3:18 (KJV):
“But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord.”
Transformation isn’t behavior modification — it’s heart renovation. It’s the slow, sacred work of the Spirit, replacing what was broken with what is holy.
When God transforms a person, He doesn’t just clean up their life — He changes their nature. The old desires to prove, control, or perform begin to die, and a new desire to please Him begins to live. Love replaces anger. Peace steadies what fear once ruled. Gentleness softens what pride once resisted.
The transformed believer doesn’t boast in how far they’ve come — they marvel that God never gave up on them. Every change in them is the result of grace, not goodness.
Romans 12:2 reminds us:
“And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”
The world tries to shape us from the outside in. God transforms us from the inside out.
When the transformed believer walks into a room, peace follows.
When they speak, grace builds.
When they suffer, faith remains.
Because transformation makes us mirrors of His mercy.
⸻
A Final Thought
If selfishness is where your journey begins, and surrender is where your will bows, then transformation is where His glory shines.
Every one of us is somewhere in that process — and God is patient in the shaping.
He’s not looking for perfection; He’s looking for permission.
When you say “yes” to His shaping, He will do the work.
⸻
Prayer
Father,
Empty me of me. Teach me what it means to live surrendered, not selfish.
Renew my mind, reshape my heart, and let Christ be seen in me.
May my life reflect Your love, my words reveal Your truth, and my walk bring You glory.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Written by Pastor Darrell “DK” Kornegay of TrueLife Church in Beulaville, NC.
At TrueLife, we believe faith is a journey — one that takes us from self to surrender, and from surrender to transformation. Join us each week as we discover more of what it means to walk in the life that Christ freely gives.
Darrell Kornegay
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